at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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