Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
