She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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