Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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