i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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