With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
