Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
