I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
