I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
