Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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