So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
