I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
