Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
