Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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