lets start a swedish sibling band together
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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