Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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