Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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