Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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