Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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