I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
