Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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