and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
