This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
