I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
