she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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