I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
