help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
