You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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