her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize