Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
