no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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