i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
