if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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