Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
