DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
