...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
