I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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