Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize