maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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