do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
