please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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