i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
