Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just cut my nipple shaving
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
