I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
