I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
