Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
