They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
