we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
