"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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