drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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