Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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