He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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