So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
