I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How external is "for external use only"?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
