Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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