The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
