I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
