drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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