i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
