I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize