Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize