I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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