i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
