how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
