it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
