that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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