1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We're like a lot better than the average bears
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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